One year ago today, after tearing apart and rebuilding one of my websites, I published a piece about what was to come next called, Keeping The Dream Alive.
Today, I reread it.
Truth be told, I knew this day was coming up but admittedly forgot now that it’s here. It wasn’t until reading this recent piece from Brendan Leonard that I remembered it’d been a year since publishing my overview of The MAP Year project. Only then did I seek out my own piece to go back through it. Brendan’s piece is about finding himself in a new phase of life. He, his wife, and their son went camping, and Brendan had to wrestle with coming face to face with small twinges of familiarity among a completely different shape of experience than he was used to.
I’m reading his words from my desk, where one of my orchids just bloomed after almost two years of dormancy. It turned out to be a worthwhile game of attentive patience. Come to think of it, that’s sort of my wheelhouse... Anyway, I’ve got my chin in the crook of my hand and I’m leaning my elbow on the black desktop mat protecting the wood. Tipping forward, I’m scrolling with my other hand as my eyes flit from line to line. My jaw is somehow loosening while both proffering a smile and supporting the weight of my hunched-over posture.
He’s just so good...
Brendan routinely manages to capture extremely profound moments while completely avoiding pretentiousness altogether. He doesn’t even go near them. I’ve been impressed by his ability to do that since I first became acquainted with his work circa ~2016. And I’ve often wondered how he built his writing career because I not-so-secretly want to do something similar.
It’s lines like this one:
“Sometimes I joke that growing up is just building your own prison out of things you love, but that’s of course exaggeration—it’s more like sacrificing your own freedom in exchange for things you think will be worth it: pets, kids, a consistent roof over your head, maybe some plants to nurture.”
Pshhhht...
I fly back in my chair with an audible “hoookayyy.”
Hell, I’m probably getting something totally different out of that than I would’ve just a year ago, but reading through it a second time, and then a third, it keeps cutting deeper. I feel its sadness. At the same time, I also feel the hope and appreciation embedded within. As I’m thinking about it, I’m reminded of the phrase “if it were easy, everyone would do it,” and that “it” can refer to just about anything. I’ve also learned by now that we each only get a couple of them; those “its.” Maybe a few if we’re lucky enough to learn that lesson early.
I’m glad I started writing a newsletter a couple years ago.
And that it led me here.
The MAP Year Project isn’t over yet but, even when it is, I know I’ll still be keeping the dream alive.
Our Daily MAP Year Prompt
319/365
What does keeping the dream alive look like to you?
onward.
For more on this daily column and The MAP Year Project, read the backstory.
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