When the timer went off, I couldn’t resist saying “pencils down.”
I’m sitting in my dining room. There’s an open notebook in front of me, and an open laptop in front of it. On the screen, I have a word doc pulled up and I’ve zoomed in on a table. Inside the table, spread across multiple columns, is a list of about 75 words —all of which, describe different values. I’ve just put down my pen with an unexpected “huh” after whittling the list down to 20, then 10, and finally to a final five.
Every year or so, I like to do this exercise to check in on my values and see how they have, or haven’t, changed. Something about making selections throughout multiple, timed rounds gives it just enough pressure to force me to keep moving without overthinking things.
I was overdue.
And, wouldn’t ya know it, my final list of values had changed since the last time I did this a couple years ago. Looking at the words I’d rewritten below the clump that didn’t make the cut, I noticed something super interesting.
But first, for context—
Here’s the old list: curiosity, connection, progression, expression and autonomy.
And here’s the new list: autonomy, creativity, curiosity, service, and virtue.
I couldn’t help but smile at the similarities.
Although, since it didn’t make the list this time, I thought back to my reasoning for selecting “connection” back then. Almost instantly, I knew why I hadn’t this time.
I reasoned that what I liked and what I valued were not inherently the same thing.
I’d wanted to forge meaningful relationships with people, and also with the various elements of my life—like, work for example. But in the last couple of years I realized that connection is the outcome of the thing I value, and not the thing itself. That’s why I chose to include “service” this time. I value being of service and, in doing so, find that I connect with the people and things I give my time and energy to.
While the clock was still ticking, before I’d run out of time, I was also torn between two final values to round out my top five... authenticity and honesty. As I struggled to pick one over the other, I got an idea.
At the last minute, I changed the rules for myself and selected a word that wasn’t even on the list of words to choose from; it hadn’t been present during any of the prior elimination rounds.
Virtue.
Before locking-in my choice, I looked up the definition to double-check that my rule-bending would accomplish what I’d hoped it would.
Ok, let’s see...
Virtue is defined as...
“Morally good behavior, high moral standards, or a specific admirable quality (e.g., honesty, integrity). It represents conformity to ethical principles, excellence in character, or a beneficial advantage.”
Yep.
Perfect.
The way I see it, aiming for virtue requires both authenticity and honesty. So, this makes it a 2-for-1 combo.
I looked my list over, again, feeling kind of smug at my rule-modifications, and root-cause-revelations... even though, I made the rules to begin with. I think that means I can adapt them as needed.
Our Daily MAP Year Prompt
240/365
Do you know what your values are?
onward.
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