Great post, Derek. We all learn what is acceptable and not acceptable behaviors from our families. It must be a survival instinct for children to try and fit in and please the adults who take care of them.
Thank you, Wendy!! Definitely a survival instinct. I don't think we can avoid it, but we can learn how to rewire it once it no longer serves us. Gabor Maté has done some great research on this. Highly recommend his book, "The Myth of Normal.
Your excellent essay reminded me of Dunbar's poem. There's no hint of droning in your writing, D. Each word served its purpose. What a relatable topic. Some masks fit better than others.
You're too kind! Thank you, I'm glad it resonated. I really enjoyed Dunbar's poem. It made me think of Shel Silverstein's "Masks." Then, of all the ways people have experienced, repressed, and expressed the feeling of hiding themselves. A topic known by many, indeed.
Derek this post reached me deep in my heart and psyche. I wanted to go to that little honest kid and tell him to keep being truthful about his feelings and thoughts and dreams, no matter what. I too, am only now learning to shed the mask. It’s terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. Bravo friend. This is an incredible piece of writing.
Wow, thank you for the kind words. I’m so glad you were able to connect with this so deeply Michelle! I’m still a work in progress and always will be. But it makes me happy to reflect on how far I’ve come. There’s relief in taking off the mask, but also a bit of grief for everything the masked parts of ourselves missed out on. Cheers to unmasking and to embracing discomfort as our truest selves!
Very vulnerable, honest post. I’ve never had the type of problem that you describe. I may have the opposite issue… Being too me! But I’m pretty sure my youngest son has this issue and reading your take on it helps me understand him better. Which I think (and hope) can help him and make us closer. Thanks for the help.
Sometimes we’re our own worst enemies… the stories we tell ourselves are so powerful in shaping the life we lead. I’m so glad to hear you found this helpful for your relationship with your son! And thank you for reading. I’m touched.
Great post, Derek. We all learn what is acceptable and not acceptable behaviors from our families. It must be a survival instinct for children to try and fit in and please the adults who take care of them.
Thank you, Wendy!! Definitely a survival instinct. I don't think we can avoid it, but we can learn how to rewire it once it no longer serves us. Gabor Maté has done some great research on this. Highly recommend his book, "The Myth of Normal.
Your excellent essay reminded me of Dunbar's poem. There's no hint of droning in your writing, D. Each word served its purpose. What a relatable topic. Some masks fit better than others.
You're too kind! Thank you, I'm glad it resonated. I really enjoyed Dunbar's poem. It made me think of Shel Silverstein's "Masks." Then, of all the ways people have experienced, repressed, and expressed the feeling of hiding themselves. A topic known by many, indeed.
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44203/we-wear-the-mask
And here I am droning on and on... Next up, exploring the lost art of brevity
Derek this post reached me deep in my heart and psyche. I wanted to go to that little honest kid and tell him to keep being truthful about his feelings and thoughts and dreams, no matter what. I too, am only now learning to shed the mask. It’s terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. Bravo friend. This is an incredible piece of writing.
Wow, thank you for the kind words. I’m so glad you were able to connect with this so deeply Michelle! I’m still a work in progress and always will be. But it makes me happy to reflect on how far I’ve come. There’s relief in taking off the mask, but also a bit of grief for everything the masked parts of ourselves missed out on. Cheers to unmasking and to embracing discomfort as our truest selves!
Very vulnerable, honest post. I’ve never had the type of problem that you describe. I may have the opposite issue… Being too me! But I’m pretty sure my youngest son has this issue and reading your take on it helps me understand him better. Which I think (and hope) can help him and make us closer. Thanks for the help.
Sometimes we’re our own worst enemies… the stories we tell ourselves are so powerful in shaping the life we lead. I’m so glad to hear you found this helpful for your relationship with your son! And thank you for reading. I’m touched.