“What have you been doing for fun lately?”
It was a simple question. And, you bet your ass I completely blanked when coming up with an answer. It’s not like I didn’t have anything to say—I actually tend to have the opposite problem. The issue is that I questioned how best to say all the stuff swirling in my brain. Unlucky for Rachael, I had no idea how to answer in a way that didn’t sound completely confusing.
But I did my best.
I actually liked this question, too. Most people lead with “so what’s new?” and I really, really, really very strongly dislike when they do that. I can’t be the only one who feels it’s like being asked to sing the national anthem to an expectant crowd of thousands?
Wait… I am? Oh, well, you could’ve at least pretended to think about it for a minute.
Anyway, the thing I run into is that a lot of what feels like fun to me looks like work to other people. Yes, I know how that sounds but it’s not meant to be a flex. It just… is kinda what my brain is drawn to. Things like writing, tinkering with software, redesigning systems, and testing new tools are all things I’d want to share in an answer to those small-talk questions.
But when people ask you “what’s new?”, they sure as shit don’t want to talk about work. And when I think of sharing those things I think are fun, I know they’re going to groan as if I’m asking them to talk about their work, too. But I’m not. You know, unless they want to… and then I’m probably absolutely down to learn about whatever problem their coworker caused in their reporting dashboard.
I’m fun. I swear.
Something that I do enjoy, and that’s definitely not work related, is going to live music, stand-up comedy shows, and storytelling events with friends.
The Unobstructed Podcast: Episode 20
In this episode, Rachael and I talk about the improv rule of “yes, and.” We chat about how it can change the way you show up on teams, in conversations with close friends, and even in the chatter of your own inner monologues.
We didn’t go into this episode with a plan to talk about stand-up comedy as a form of therapy. Or how workplace dynamics are just another type of performance.
But, alas… here we are.
Some people go camping. Some go to comedy shows. Some go to therapy. Turns out, Rachael and I do all three.
So, we swapped stories about the types of conflict that show up at work and how our own baggage shapes our behavior with the team. Which led to a really fun conversation about how we react when our ideas are agreed with compared to when they aren’t.
That’s where Rachael and I found the thruline between improv and the workplace: the “yes, and” principle of contributing ideas instead of restricting the ones that are offered. After all, the difference between trying to be funny and opting to be vulnerable is a super fine line. And humor is a defense mechanism at its core.
In improv, “yes, and” is a way to expand a scene and make things more fun for the audience. In the workplace, it’s a tool for listening, growing, and co-creating without getting defensive.
That’s what this episode really digs into. So next time someone asks you “what’s new?”, be sure to tell them you listened to The Unobstructed Podcast. When they ask you if Substack’s where they can check it out, go ahead and hit them with a “yes, and”… you can also listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Amazon Music.
onward.
-dmac
P.S. if you know someone who’s into stories on personal growth and building mental wealth, consider sharing this with them!
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